Friday, October 14, 2011

Unsolicited Help

This afternoon, after work, I stopped to play golf on the way home. I've been playing for several years and have fun with it, but am not by any stretch good. That said, that late in the day the course is pretty slow and I started playing alone.

On the third hole, another solo player waved me forward and we finished the hole together. But as we started hole 4. he could help but offer advice on how to improve my game. A big part of what I like in playing alone is that not happening. But things being what they were, I tried to be friendly and try his advice. And truth be told, his advice wasn't bad.

A few more holes transpire, and another individual joins our little group (a large group ahead was causing us to stack up behind them). Luckily, he too wanted to impart his conflicting advice on me.

On the last hole, my swing went to hell. That's a good indicator my blood sugar has gone south. But the guys I was playing with didn't know that, so they just wanted to further help my swing. Yes, I'm swinging too hard, or moving my back, or any number of other defects you can so helpfully point out, but they're a symptom, not something correctable! Yet I said nothing.

As I saw it, the options were

  1. Explain I'm diabetic and have low blood sugar and I'm off to the cafe to treat.
  2. Keep diabetes to myself, stop playing, but carry on the last couple hundred yards with them
  3. Keep playing, poorly, and then politely lose them

I choose #3. I don't want to advocate while low, and I don't want to spend 15 minutes insisting everything's OK while they finish. I resented having to choose at all.

And yes, I had reduced basals hours earlier, and had sugar for the game, but I'd run out a couple holes earlier. Just need to remember to bring more.

I like the support system the DOC offers. It's a support system I've opted-into. But this well-intention-ed unsolicited help? I can do without it. Not for diabetes, and not anywhere else in life. One day, I'll have to learn to more forcefully reject people's good intentions. I don't really want to be an island, but how about a really long peninsula?

1 comment:

  1. I hear you, Brian. I've had that myself... both on the D-front and the golf "advice" generally. Have gone different ways depending where on the course we're at and who else is with me (a friend, my dad, coworker...). I usually carry something in my bag just in case, either some glucose tabs and granola bar or juice or something. I'd probably have done the same in that situation there, myself.